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NEW MALE PERFORMANCE DRUGS

January 25, 2013

With the success of Viagra, many new performance drugs for men go into development:

–PROJECTRA: Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair PROJECT before starting a new one.

–COMPLIMENTRA: In clinical trials, 82% of middle-aged men noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

–BUYAGRA: Married men report a sudden urge to buy their wives gifts after taking this drug for only two days. Still to be ascertained: whether the results extend to not minding when women spend money on themselves.

–ANTI-AGRA: Promises the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on U.S. Senators.

–NOSPORTAGRA: This drug makes men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

–FLATULAGRA: This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gases into air freshener.

–FLYAGRA: This drug shows great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).

–LIAGRA: This drug helps men lie more successfully when asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Political Strength versions

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